Just read a travel article where the writer said that one of his favourite hotel amenities is the heated toilet seat. If you have been to Japan you will have no doubt experienced this for yourself. I just love this guy’s description of his first experience with a Japanese toilet.
“Why, I wondered then, had I only ever sat on cold, unresponsive toilet seats before? Why hadn’t I been pampering my derriere with the temperature-controlled treatment it deserved? How was I ever going to go back to using regular old toilets again?”
Now if you haven’t actually tried one of these toilets yourself you might be thinking that it sounds a bit offputting. Imagine sitting down on a warm toilet seat? As if someone else has only just vacated it. Yuck. But it is not actually like that and apart from the heated seat you get all the other extras built in on a control panel that you might not quite understand.
If you cannot figure out these hieroglyphics then maybe this English version of the Toto Washlet will help
Yep that’s right folks – you get rear cleansing (spray up the bum) regular or “soft” and you also get front cleansing. OMG don’t go there. And you get a dryer – so no toilet paper needed. Oh and you will see that you can choose from oscillating or pulsating.
Now this all sounds very uncomfortable (especially the pulsating) but honestly give it a go. It is actually very civilised. Where did we come up with the idea of rubbing our bottoms with paper. This type of toilet is kind to the environment (only compostables going down the loo). Mind you I have to say that when I typed that phrase “rubbing our bottoms with paper” I was taken right back to my granny’s outdoor toilet. She wouldn’t have wasted her money on Charmin Ultra Soft…. no way! Cut up pieces of newspaper stuck onto the nail in the back of the door. Goodness me, sounds like I grew up with the Beverley Hillbillies. Now this was only my gran who did this. My mom always bought proper toilet paper. Whew!
The worst toilet situation I ever saw was in an apartment in Lisbon – the toilet was slap bang in the middle of the kitchen. I kid you not. No walls or anything. I guess it would be handy if you were in the middle of frying an egg and just had to go. Some of the toilets in India were a bit challenging – had to have really good balance to pee standing up (as a woman). The worst toilets were at the border crossing between South Africa and Swaziland. After a long 4 hour drive from Johannesburg sometimes you just had to pee so the rule was to stop about half an hour from the border and pee in the bushes.
So after all those experiences a warm toilet seat and a “hose down” afterwards sounds really good.