Tag Archives: spanx

Taking carry-on just got worse

I know – carry on is handy in a way but a big pain in the you-know-where at most times.  You end up hanging around airports with all your luggage and then worry about not getting space in the overhead bin.  Maybe the flight is really full so they offer to check your baggage and then you have to start rooting through your possessions to move stuff out.

Or else maybe your carry-on is a bit on the larger size and some bossy check in agent (sorry guys – I didn’t mean that – it was just for atmosphere) tells you to fit it into this ridiculously small metal frame.  Who invented that?  It doesn’t take into account zippers, luggage straps or labels.  So you squeeze and push and pant – my goodness – it’s like trying to get into a pair of Spanx.  You ladies out there will know what I mean.

spanx-richochet

Yes – you finally get the damn thing into the frame and get a caustic nod from the gate for you to carry on and board – and then you can’t get the frigging thing out.  Oh my …..

I could write books.

But the best story I read just recently was about a scam that is happening where an organised ring are robbing carry on bags – right in front of the other passengers and crew!

I first saw this in a story just a couple of days ago.  A business class passenger found that someone (also a passenger in business class) had opened up the overhead bin and had taken out his bag and removed some cash and valuables.  Read the full report and watch the video

I was really surprised to read this and then did a bit more googling (what did we do before Mr Google came along?).  It seems that this is a common occurrence and so various airlines and advisory groups recommend keeping an eye on your carry-on and not putting valuables in them.

Maybe this is why the fanny pack has come back into fashion.  (We called it a bum bag – fanny is a rude word in England).  This was a hot item during the 80’s – maybe some of you will remember.  After a podcast by Joe Rogan it suddenly became popular again – and it seems to make sense.  Kinda like a money belt but more. fanny pack

It’s not a new idea though – as per wiki –

“Bags attached to belts have been in use since antiquity in many cultures. One origin was the Native American buffalo pouch which was used instead of sewing pockets into clothing. Buffalo pouches may also be worn on the wrist or carried on the front of the chest via a neck strap or lanyard.  Ötzi had a belt pouch 5000 years ago. The European medieval belt-pouch is another antecedent which was superseded as clothing came to have pockets. The Scottish sporran is a similar belted pouch that survived because of the impracticality of pockets in a kilt.”

So maybe we will be seeing more of these bum bags (I know bum is not a nice word either – neither is fanny – could we call them waist bags?  But that might be confusing!)  Of course with anything coming back into fashion there is always going to be somebody who is going to come up with a twist ….. like this

novelty-fun-men-women-dad-bag-dad-bod-waist

Armed and dangerous

Most women when they get to a certain age will find that maybe their arms weren’t what they used to be.  This becomes problematic planning a summer vacation.  I am off to Provence and the weather forecast is wonderful but how to get away with those little sleeveless dresses and batwing arms?

armsAh hah!  Help is at hand.  You can now buy new arms – well arm cover ups to be precise.  Wow what will they think of next.  You can get them in any colour and just slip them under that little sleeveless dress for a complete cover up of Nature’s faults.

Well that’s fine and dandy – now what about the rest?  Easy to cover up the arms.  What about the neck you might ask?

Somehow I think that would be a bit more difficult.  You could go this route –cover up neck

Ummm – maybe not so much.  People might think you had broken something.  Seems it would get awfully hot too.

It just goes to show the lengths we women will go to hide our “little” flaws and why it takes us just a little bit longer in the morning to get dressed.
too-small-spanx
So in keeping with my mantra of packing light and covering up how about just packing the one essential garment to take you through every occasion.

On the flight

On the flight

On the boat

On the boat

Wine tasting

Wine tasting

All this packing and planning - it's too much!

All this packing and planning – it’s too much!

 

So do you have baggage?

huge purseOf course you do. We all do!  But Westjet is going to be on the look out for you!  New carry on policies mean that you can’t bring the kitchen sink with you and then expect to squash it all in the overhead bin and around your neighbour’s feet.  Well I think it’s a good thing.  The old policy permitted two items of carry on as well as one personal item.  Holy Moley ….. No wonder it takes us so long to get off the ground these days.  But now do you think they will get picky about what constitutes a personal item?

OK – so you’ve got your carry on bag.  And you have your purse – or man bag or whatever.  So that’s it – right?  What about your neck pillow.  If you latch that onto your carry on then I guess that constitutes one item.  But will it fit in the “sizing device”  (I would love to know who decided to use that terminology).  What happens if your neck doesn’t fit in the “sizing device”.  Will you leave that behind?  And what about your coat?  Does that count as an extra personal item – so carry on and coat – that’s it.  So do you leave the man bag behind?  You see my dilemma.
sizing device

So I guess the answer is that you buy one of those huge purses that are no particular shape – sort of looks like a deflated balloon.  You can fill that up to weigh 22 lbs.  That’s one helluva purse, people!  And then when it comes to putting it into the “sizing device” you sort of squash and squeeze it in there until it fits.  Kind of like putting on spanx.  Yeah, that’ll do it.  I think I have this problem under control (pardon the pun).
spanx