Swim and pee

OK – let’s hear it. Have you ever peed in the swimming pool? No? Well somebody has been doing this and that’s why some pools use a special dye in the water so they can totally embarrass you for doing this.

But here’s a new one. Have you ever peed in the sea? Well, I bet most people will say yes to this. After all, it’s the sea. Don’t the fish and other creatures pee and poo in there? Honestly, in some places you visit how could you not pee in the sea? We used to go camping in South Africa along the coast – the kind of place where you drive a 4-wheel vehicle along the beach and make a picnic spot. There is absolutely no “washroom” to be seen for miles around. So what do you do? Casually stand up and say that you are going for a quick dip and bob’s your uncle. I honestly can’t see any harm in that.

Spain, however, has a new rule. A fine for peeing in the sea. Well how the heck do they know? Do they have Pee Police out there in the water standing in their Speedos watching the swimmers?

It is going to be interesting to see how this develops. If you get caught you could face a fine of around $1000. Would you defend it? “M’Lord this is not my pee and you cannot prove to me that it is, therefore this case should be dismissed!”

Maybe if they suspect you are peeing in the sea they take steps to secure the evidence. Maybe you have to hand in your swimsuit so they can do forensic tests and see if there is evidence of urine passing through the fabric! They would have to get that speedo off pretty quickly though. Very tricky police work.

Maybe they use other ways of trapping sea pee people. Maybe the officer on patrol in the surf makes sure to check out people’s facial expressions just in case they suggest that they are having a pee. Now, this might sound silly – but trust me – I have a two-year-old grandson and he definitely gets the shivers when he does a pee!

Isn’t this all a fuss about nothing and surely the police in the Spanish resorts have more important things to do than worrying about people peeing in the ocean. The Daily Mail thinks so –

“Ever ‘had to go’ while swimming in the ocean but felt guilty about polluting the water? Well, feel guilty no more – according to the American Chemical Society (ACS) peeing in the ocean is not only harmless, it is actually good for marine life. In a video, it says the components of urine pose no threat to life in the ocean, and if anything they can be beneficial.”

Spanish police have got their hands full with other things – like unruly Brits washing their undies in the sea – now that’s really bad. Fish definitely prefer pee to soap! The best thing I have seen though is that Spanish police are now removing beach chairs from the beach that are clearly unoccupied. We have all experienced this at some time or other – very often on a cruise ship around the pool. Those people who sneak out at 5 am to put their towel and a magazine on the lounger so they can reserve it till they are ready. Apparently the same thing happens on Spanish beaches so the police are rounding up and confiscating those chairs and loungers. I love it!