Stupid conversations in the sky

I love flying – I really do.  I have short legs so leg room is never a problem.  While I am flying I get served meals and drinks (sometimes for a fee!), I can usually watch a movie or even read my book – all without interruption.  I regard that time in the air as a “time out” during which time I can gather my thoughts, snooze or just day dream – all without any responsibilities.

That’s why I absolutely hate the idea of cell phone accessibility in the air.  It’s bad enough that the minute the seat belt sign goes off on the ground every cell phone around is immediately activated but the idea of sharing someone’s inane one-sided conversation during a flight of any duration drives me just batty. 

On a recent flight from Montreal to Calgary myself and surrounding passengers were subjected to a one sided discussion from someone involved in ranching or cattle farming.  Well of course you have to listen – you have no option.  He was talking about stock and I didn’t think it was as in “shares” but “livestock”.  It got worse when he started peppering his speech with a bulls**t here and a bulls**t there.  Trust me – I am no angel and have been known to turn the air blue when I lose a nail but what was this guy thinking?  He was sitting next to a young teen girl – no wonder she plugged herself into her ipod.  Not only was he course – he was boring. 

So the only solution to this dilemma is if they are going to allow cell phone calls in flight the cell phone holders must undergo a test.  They must be entertaining, funny, intelligent and well spoken.  They must also agree to have their conversations on speaker phone so that we can properly follow the discussion and if necessary weigh in with our own comments and suggestions.  Now THAT might be fun!