What a carry on

Yep – it’s almost as bad as one of those old Carry On Movies – remember them? With Sid James, Charles Hawtrey and crew. There’s a whole list of them online – some of them being quite raunchy and very politically incorrect. There are at least 30 of them with a short outline of the plot. Everything from Carry on up the Khyber (Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond looks after the British outpost near the Khyber Pass. Protected by the kilted Third Foot and Mouth regiment, you would think they were safe but the Khazi of Kalabar has other ideas) to Carry on Cruising (have to watch that one!)

Carry on Jack – This is the tale of Albert Poop-Decker, a newly commissioned Midshipman (although he took 8 1/2 years to qualify). He joins the frigate Venus, and adventures through Spanish waters, mutinee and Pirates taking his Captain, his sweet-heart and his best-friend with him! With mistaken identities and shipwrecks awash, it’s a surprise any of them live to tell the tale!

I wonder what it would be like if we could get the old crew together and ask them to do Carry on film about the present situation. Flights being cancelled, luggage being lost, airport and airline staff going on strike! Carry On Your Carry On! or Carry On Looking For Your Bags or Carry On Driving Past the Airport ‘cos Your Flight Has Been Cancelled.

You gotta laugh people, otherwise you might just cry.

The hardest thing about doing carry on are the shoes – well for women anyway. Men seem to be OK with a pair of runners day, night and even for running.

So you have your carry on bag all tightly packed, bursting at the seams. You have your “personal item” which is supposed to be your purse but is actually bigger than your carry on bag and now you have to get on the plane and make sure you get some space in the overhead bins before they fill up. Best to be in a group where you can board first, but that is not always possible. Finally your group is called and of course you are first in the line up. Onto the plane we go and the space over your seat is occupied by someone else’s bag. What the hell? Yes I have seen these cheeky bastards. No space in their overhead locker so they just stroll up the aisle, against the flow, so they can put their luggage in someone else’s spot. But even worse…omg have you seen this …. guy gets on the plane and the first row in economy he pops his bag into an empty overhead – then continues on to the back of the plane for his seat. I was SO boosted when the flight attendant came up to him and told him politely that he had to put his carry on bag in his own overhead bin. I LOVED that girl.

We get very territorial when we are on a plane. I am not sure if it is because we feel confined or that the space is limited but we get defensive about every little thing – at least I do. Excuse me, that’s MY over head bin and MY armrest. No wonder there are fights on planes. Then when the thing stops at the end of a flight everyone is up immediately pulling their carry on bags out as if they are going to be able to get off the flight immediately. What a joke! Sit back down. You and your carry on are not going anywhere because –

• there are no staff to do the security clearing
• there are no baggage handlers
• there are no men outside the plane checking that it is properly connected to the terminal
• there are too many people in the terminal who need to be cleared.

Wow – I just found the best thing I am going to take on my next flight