Yes I think I am a lazy bitch

I love my job – no two days are the same as any retailer will tell you.  Some days are tough while other days people will (often unsuspectingly) tickle your funny bone.  One such tickle resulted in me thinking a little more deeply about ….  well wait a  minute – let me set the scene.

An email came in requesting a quote – a rather complicated one as it happened.  A couple of young lads had been invited to two weddings in the Mayan Riviera and were trying to combine the two by spending 3 days at one and 5 days at the other.  Naturally as this falls outside the usual 7 day package it would require a bit of work to put this together.  At the end of the email the young man told me that he and his friend were working with other travel agents and would go with the best quote and the best service.  I explained that this would require a more personalised itinerary and if he was working with multiple other agencies I didn’t want to get into a bidding war but I did thank him for his honesty.  I copied both young men.

Young man number two then committed the number one corporate mortal sin – he replied to his friend’s email without checking that I was copied on the email.  His email was short and to the point….

“lazy bitch”.

Was I insulted?  I was laughing so much I didn’t have time to be insulted – I literally rolled around the office laughing my head off.  What an idiot.  I hope he never does this to his boss or about his boss (he works for a big downtown company).   I replied “not lazy … just smart”.  I should have added “unlike you” but of course those fantastic one-liners only pop into your head after the fact.

Then I started to think about this a bit deeper.  Not about Mr Quick Draw McGraw (the fastest mouse clicker on the planet – his cursor hovers over the send button on his email like a blur – it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Superman!!!!)  No I started to really analyse my life and whether I was in fact a lazy bitch.  I go to gym regularly but admittedly I don’t like housework or laundry.  Who does?  When I go on vacation I absolutely hate anything where I am expected to go and shop and cook.  One vacation years ago in Maui I discovered that you only have to hear that question once “What are we having for supper tonight?” to totally make you feel that you shouldn’t have left the comfort of your own kitchen so that you can try and botch together a meal with someone else’s used kitchen utensils – yuck!

I am sure I am not alone in this regard.  I bet there are a whole bunch of women out there who are lazy bitches like me.  In fact there are probably a few guys too seeing as the lingo these days is that a guy can now be a bitch as in “Yo Bitch!  How’s it going down?”

This might even lead to a completely new entrepreneurial idea – Lazy Bitch Vacations.   Why has no-one thought of this before?  I am astounded!  This is the sort of vacation everyone in the whole world would want.  Go on vacation and do absolutely nothing for yourself.  You hear about cabana boys at fancy hotels – well they rub on the suntan oil, spray Evian mist on your face and obviously look after lazy bitches like me.

I think this has a big future – maybe I could take it to the Dragon’s Den.  I am sure Arlene would understand where I am coming from.