Keeping a straight face…

How do cruise ship workers keep a straight face when asked these sort of questions –

-How does the captain know where to go? -When the captain is sleeping, who is steering the ship? -How many fjords to the dollar? -I am married, but can I still come to the singles party? -Do I put my luggage out before or after I go to sleep? -Is an outside cabin outside of the ship? –

Ice carving What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?
Is this island completely surrounded by water?
Are you sure that our oceanview cabin will be above the waterline of the ship?

Why don’t inside cabins have a porthole/window?
Can I use American currency in Alaska?

I want to be on the port side of the ship!  That way I can always see the port!

Do you have to leave the ship to take a shore excursion?

Cruise photographer – Many people ask what we do with unsold photos after the cruise. We say to them that we put them on walls in our cabins. A lot of them laugh but some of them get shocked.

My favorite one is the couple wandering around the photo shop saying ” how do we tell which photos are ours?”

Flight attendants don’t get it any easier either –  Some comments from our hard working waiters in the sky –

We ask, “would you like cream and sugar in your coffee?” and they hesitate like it’s a difficult ‘Jeopardy’ question.

On today’s flight to Belfast, a customer asked me to help her locate her missing tooth in her luggage. When I refused to get into her bag and search for her missing tooth, she has asked the captain for a complaint letter!

I had a woman in first class take off her pants in the aisle (though she was standing next to the lav) and ask me to hang them up for her, while she stood there in her pantyhose!

And the stories go on and on.  Everyone working in the service industry has tales to tell which can shock us, make us laugh and even amaze us.   What have your experiences been?

By Lesley Keyter

Lesley Keyter is the face of travel in the fast growing city of Calgary. Every week since 1997 she has has featured live on the Morning News Global TV.

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