Fly and flop

I made Leslie Horton laugh when I first used that expression.


It is a bit of a British way of making fun of the annual holiday down to Mallorca. Pack up, get on the plane – get to the hotel – and flop for a week. Never mind that rubbish about sight seeing, churches, museums – heck no. Get on the plane – get down to the beach and …. yes that’s right – flop!

Look – there’s nothing wrong with that. After a whole year of working hard, taking the kids to hockey practice, cleaning the house, shoveling the driveway – yeah – hardworking people are quite justified in their desire to get somewhere they don’t have to make beds and cook meals and they can just lie on the beach for a week – even if it is pouring with rain!

Of course it has bred a whole sub-culture of the locals who laugh at the tourists and regard them as a necessary pain in the butt. I understand that. I grew up in Mullion, Cornwall – a pretty village with spectacular beaches. There was always a bit of a panic in the air towards the end of June – the “visitors” were coming. And you could spot them a mile away. Dad would have a hanky on his head and would be enjoying an ice cream cone.

Mom would be struggling down the main street with an oversized beach bag and very burnt arms. We fled to beaches that only the locals knew about and waited there until 4th September when peace in the village was restored and the visitors all went home.

And here we come to the “flop” part – it’s problematical. Finding somewhere to flop that is. Pop your head out of the window of your hotel in the early hours of the morning and I bet you will see people sneaking down there to drop a towel or a book on a couple of chairs to reserve them. The hotels don’t like this and nor do the other guests. But a place to flop is very very important.

The strange thing is that the all inclusive hotels these days have so many activities on the go you would be hard pressed to spend the whole time flopped in your chair. What with aqua aerobics in the morning and karaoke in the afternoon round the pool and name that tune in the evening. (Can I run away now???)

So if lying on the beach all day is your thing – Go for it! I say. You worked hard. You deserve it. It is your holiday and you should spend it how YOU want to spend it and forget about any criticisms. Just remember the suntan lotion and don’t fall asleep in the sun.

The final word is from It says it all…..

A guy fell asleep on the beach…
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. 
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, “What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor?” 
The doctor replied, “It won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”

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By Lesley Keyter

Lesley Keyter is the face of travel in the fast growing city of Calgary. Every week since 1997 she has has featured live on the Morning News Global TV.

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