Roly poly is lost

Yep that’s me – Roly Poly – at least that’s what SHE used to call me. I wonder where she is and when am I going to get out of this damned place. I have been here for days and days with all these other strangers – some of whom are quite aggressive. Maybe I should explain – I am just a small rolly suitcase who just wants to mind her own business and find my mistress but I am stuck in this giant ocean of luggage at Heathrow Airport – and quite frankly it is scary.

Not only that I do worry about my mistress. She is a bit scatty and probably has nothing useful in her carry-on – except her make-up. Well, thank God for that because without that she is doubly scary. I have to admit I shed a tear or two now when I remember our parting in Calgary airport. She was so excited about going on her trip that she hardly said goodbye to me as the check-in agent stuck the label on my handle and I was trundled off down the baggage ramp. I don’t like this part very much. The baggage handlers are so rough. Really, someone should teach them some manners. Just as well I have a tough shell!

Then it was the usual ho-hum stuff. Hours in the hold with cases on top of me and cases below me. As we were flying I started to doubt my mistress a bit. I think she was in too much of a hurry when she packed me. Now inside me, I can feel the trickle of something …. could it be her suntan oil? Oh my goodness, I hope not. That will absolutely ruin my lining. I wish she would be more careful when she packs. And that stiletto heel is digging into my side. Oh don’t mind me – just jam it all in any which way.

Finally, we arrived at Heathrow. Been there loads of times. Even recognised some of the baggage handlers. And that’s as far as I got. I have been here for three days now and I don’t know when I am ever going to get out. Of course, some of the other cases are getting a bit antsy with this hanging around pointlessly. Boredom strikes and then the bullies come out. A couple of large Samsonites started pushing around a funny-looking case. Well, I must admit I laughed as well. A case with a picture of its master? What the hell? I would be so embarrassed if my mistress did that to me. Seriously, if you look like this well you can expect to get bullied.

Rumour has it that we are never going to get back to our owners. We will probably be shipped off to some big warehouse where we will be auctioned off unopened to the highest bidder. Well with that suntan oil dripping all over my lining (and her clothes) I will probably be a big disappointment to anyone who bids for me.

Oh wait a minute! I have just literally been jerked around by one of the baggage handlers. He is checking my label and throwing (yes throwing) me onto a dolly. I think I am going somewhere. Yep – that old familiar road out to the runway. So maybe I will get to meet up with my mistress. I bet she is glad she took out that insurance. She is probably shopping till she drops right now. And it’s legit. Hopefully, she hasn’t bought herself a new suitcase …. one with her face on it!!!

By Lesley Keyter

Lesley Keyter is the face of travel in the fast growing city of Calgary. Every week since 1997 she has has featured live on the Morning News Global TV.

10 comments

  1. A welcome reprieve from reality !! Or too close to reality ?…

    So what picture is on the other side of these suitcases? I am sure we could all come up with something : )
    Cheers !

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  2. Haha. Entertaining. Many years ago I flew into Heathrow to attend a business meeting in Manhattan the next day. No baggage. Thank goodness it was when we dressed up a bit to fly and I had worn a suit. I and I’m sure everyone else was rather tired of it and my blouse was pretty iffy by the time I got my other clothing 2 days later.

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